Friends, even in our lowest times of self-doubt and worry, God finds a way to brighten the dark and give us comfort. It's funny how these little occurrences can be mistaken for coincidence or karma, but I know better. My God is loving, He cares incredibly deeply for His children, and He hates to see us hurting. He would do anything possible to keep us from doubting His plan, but we have little faith and often give in to worry and strife.
That's where I was this week when I found out I have a cyst in my ovary. I doubted that I would be able to continue my egg donation cycle. I worried that the cyst would turn into something worse. I was sad and felt I was letting people down. Friday, I had my hope and purpose renewed.
I have only had one donation recipient contact me. She wrote me the most beautiful note, and gave me a silver necklace that I still love. I wrote about it here, and said how that little act of thankfulness bowled me over and reaffirmed my beliefs about being an egg donor.
That same recipient sent me another gift and equally touching note. The gift is an incredibly soft cashmere cable knit scarf, and I am wearing it as I type. The note made me cry in the elevator where I read it, and was even written on a super cute cupcake card, how perfect for me!
To our wonderful donor,
We just want you to know that we are thinking of you. Think of this gift as a gigantic hug from us. Because of you we have a wonderful addition to our family, giving each day a whole new meaning. We want you to know how thankful we are for you, our beautiful baby, and how you will always have a place in our hearts.
The couple you helped last November
The timing of this gift, the way she phrased her note, and how much it touched me is all too perfect and I know it was divine. God saw me hurting and doubting, and spoke to me in a way that would have a direct impact on my situation. I am so thankful I have a God who knows me, loves me, and cares that deeply for me. To say I was touched, once again, by this woman's tender heart and incredible spirit is an understatement. She probably had no clue what this would mean to me when she decided to pick out a scarf and write a sweet note to the woman who donated eggs for her a year ago. She may have just gotten it into her head one day, or maybe she felt the tiniest of nudges on her heart that spurred her to action. Whatever it was, it was the perfect timing, and I am filled with hope for this next cycle, and whatever it brings. Oh, and I am overjoyed that she has a new little baby in her life!! I helped that happen!
So hopefully this will help you remember that even when you are doubting yourself, your purpose, and you are feeling down, you are not alone nor forgotten in your time of despair! My heart is lighter as I go into the weekend of work ahead, and I hope that even if you don't believe as I do, that your day will be brightened as mine has been!