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12.15.2013

the December funk

If you have been following me for the last few years, or happen to know me in person, you might have noticed that December is a hard month for me. I generally get a little sad and melancholy, anti-social, and just funky. 

The earliest I can remember this happening was my senior year of high school, so 2002. I know, that was so long ago, but that's where this has to start. I remember the days leading up to Christmas lacking any sort of happiness, my irritability levels were off the charts, and I was so blah that the idea of hanging out or even talking to people made me want to just crawl back in bed and not wake up until the next day. My friend Josh diagnosing me with having some form of SAD over AIM all the way from Portland. AIM was big back then, do you remember it? I had never heard of SAD, but he had, thanks to being from the wet and dark Pacific Northwest. 

I just think I had grown tired of sharing my birthday with the attention hogs known as Christmas and New Year's Eve.  My birthday falls smack in between them both, 3 days after Christmas, and 3 days before NYE. Not a fun place to have a birthday. Your friends are out of town, your birthday presents get lumped in with the Christmas gifts, and a card always explains them as a 2-for-1 deal, like "haha, isn't this neat? We got you one present for both!!" Or your well-meaning relatives casually wrap a birthday gift in Christmas wrap. I am sure other December babies feel me on this one. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I have tried celebrating my half birthday instead, but it's not the same. You try celebrating your birthday on any other day and tell me how odd that feels. I shouldn't have to. 

Back to the December funk. It comes around every year, like it or not. This year was no exception. Last Monday I didn't want to wake up. I finally dragged myself out of bed around 11, then sat on the couch for hours and had absolutely no motivation to do anything. I finally dressed and managed to get myself out of the house on the hunt for groceries and to run errands, but it took such a physical effort, I was exhausted. While in the car, I had inexplicable tears pricking my eyes. I kept from crying, just barely. I couldn't tell you why I was feeling this way, just that I had such an ache all over. I made dinner, and tried to hold back the tears when B got home. Eventually, I just bawled my eyes out, holding him around the neck while he patted my back and told me to let it out. He understands. He's seen me at my best, and my worst. He knows my funk well, having been around me for 10 Decembers now. 

Billy thinks this year is worse than others because I am homesick for California, missing my friends, and not able to self-medicate with retail therapy like I normally do. He wasn't weirded out that I was a sobbing mess, extra clingy, and not sure how to make it better. He just loved on me extra hard and calmly took my mess in stride.

Thankfully, on Tuesday I met up with two new friends who made me so happy to be meeting people in the area. Irene and Jess are two fabulous ladies who recently relocated to Austin from Madison, WI, and were sent my way as friend material by my beloved friend Anne. Anne was right in thinking we could mesh. I left dinner {and 3 hours of non-stop chatting} that night with a full heart, and much less sadness. I again met up with Irene and Jess on Thursday when I went over to cut Jess's hair before their Vegas trip. My first meeting feelings that they are both sweet, genuine and fun girls was stoked as they welcomed me into their home, and raved over the Christmas goodies I baked, the little faux Christmas tree I am lending them, and the bag of Vegas appropriate clothes and accessories I brought for their trip. Irene and I grabbed lunch after sending Jess back to work, and I could feel the funk lifting with proximity to awesome new friends. 

Saturday I met even more girlfriends when I attended the Ruthie and Rose holiday blogger meet up.  {More on that, later!} I met Jessica and Laurie, the awesome girls behind Ruthie and Rose, Casey from Real Suburbia, and my instagram buddy Stephanie of The Vintage Modern Wife at a sweet little cafe in San Marcos before outlet shopping. Spending time with more awesome ladies really made me snap out of my funk and I hope it stays away.  

Next weekend I will be back in San Jose, visiting "home", seeing my friends, heading up to San Francisco for a birthday party, and doing a little hair and makeup for a family photo session. I know that this trip will fill me up with love and send me back to Texas either feeling content, or make me even more homesick. We shall see!

4 comments

  1. Periods like that in life are tough...hang in there and I promise things will get better! Can you email me with your new mailing address? Pretty please :) And so glad to hear that you were able to meet up with two fabulous sounding ladies :)

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  2. Girl I know how you feel, two years almost in Dallas and I still have those days.

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  3. Its hard this time of year if your not around your friends and family. Thank god for social media so we all still keep in touch across the miles! But I know its not the same. I hope your funk feels a bit more funkier soon :) xx

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  4. I am so glad you are beginning to enjoy new friendships in Texas! But your California friends miss you. :-) xoxo

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